Celine’s Suggestions

By Celine Park ’21
A lot of people tell me I doubt myself too much and I should trust my instincts. They say I’m way smarter than I think I am but in a school where there are perfect beautiful-looking academic geniuses who are good at sports and basically everything, it’s kind of hard to trust that. I have my talents, but I don’t know, it’s just hard to not compare myself to them, but I am getting much better at not doing that. Do you have any advice?
It’s close to impossible NOT to compare yourself to others. As you stated, we go to a school where there is competition to be the best in sports or academics. So, to not want to know if you are doing better than the smartest students in the classroom is very hard considering the environment we are in. That being said, instead of focusing on whether you are getting better grades than your peers, try to challenge yourself. Even if you are satisfied with how you’re doing in school or sports, push yourself even harder. By the time you’ve challenged yourself enough, I’m sure you will have made so much more progress in whatever endeavor you’re pursuing than the classmates who once made you self-doubt yourself and your limits. Don’t give up!
 
What should I do if I have a passion but my parents don’t really support it very much, and try to severely limit the time I spend on it, even when my work is done? I have secretly done it extra, but I wouldn’t like to continue to do this. What should I do?
 
Even if your parents don’t support your passion, you shouldn’t give up on it. If your parents are preventing you from doing what you want to do for a specific reason, try to compromise with them. But, it depends on what your passion specifically is. For example, if they think your passion is keeping you from getting good grades or doing well in sports, then prove to them that you can achieve what they want while still pursuing your passion. If they are trying to stop you from doing something that isn’t safe, then that is a different story. As strong as your passion is, try to understand your parents’ intentions. Good luck!
 
Dear Celine, There is this one person in my friend group who always insults us, then covers it up with an “I’m just kidding.” I’ve called her out on it, and she hasn’t done it since. However, I notice her always trying to tear down a friend of ours who is really sweet. I’ve talked to this sweet friend and she seemed upset and doesn’t know how to stand up to the girl. Should I step in? Or let my sweet friend figure it out on her own? Please advise.
 
If you have talked to your friend about her actions and behavior towards you and she hasn’t been insulting you since, then at least your friend respects you and what you have to say. On that note, I think that your sweet friend should have a conversation with the friend who is making her feel bad about herself. Give your friend some advice on how to talk to her since you have experience. As kind as it is to help your friend, there is a limit to how much you should be stepping into an argument that you aren’t a part of. Don’t intervene so much that the fight gets even bigger. This issue seems to have to do with miscommunication between your sweet friend and your other friend, so it seems best if they privately talk about whatever went down. I hope your friends figure everything out, just like you have with them.