Back in the old pirate days, where there were one-eyed thieves and one-legged raiders, back when the black flags ruled the sea’s, there was a pirate called Crows Foot, a raggedy, bristly man with only one foot made out of flesh and blood. The other foot, just a mere stick, was lost during a battle with the Backstabbers, another pirate ship. Captain Black Eye thought of them as “lazy pigs”. But then, the Captain thought of every pirate as scurvy dogs except his own ship, the infamous Devil’s Grin.
Let me tell you a little about this ship. Sleek and slender, it could outrace anything. Cannons line the sides, a great huge mast stretched above. Pirates, strong and well-trained, each having a special job. Fighters were the pirates who drew their cutlasses and shooters were the ones at the cannons, firing away at enemy ships. The most famous pirate on the Devil’s Grin was probably Mad Eyes, the master of the art of sword fighting. He had flinty, burning eyes, a burly black beard, known for his incredible skill and passion as he wielded the sword. He slashed and stabbed, with hard rage, the silver dancing through the air, twirling and leaping and killing.
It will be wrong to say if I was boasting. Boasting is exaggerating, going beyond. But these are the cold hard facts. Devil’s Grin was simply the fiercest pirate ship in the Mediterranean Sea. They were invincible.
Now you are probably wondering where Crows Foot comes in. He was the greatest shooter, a key part in the Devil’s Grin’s success. He could spot a ship ten miles away, turn the cannon, and fire. His accuracy was spot-on. The ship would sink before even being able to attack back. He could throw a knife from one ship to another, and be able to pin a mosquito down by its wings, effortlessly. He was a master at the art of shooting.
One day, when Crows Foot was up on the crows nest, peering through a spyglass, he saw a sleek black ship, approaching fast. On the side of the ship said: The Phantom.
“Shiver me timbers!” he exclaimed. “Captain, I’m afraid we’re in a bit of trouble here.”
Captain Black Eye climbed up to the crows nest and put the spyglass to his eye. “Blimey!” he said. He then bellowed, “All Hand Hoy!”
The pirates gathered on the deck at the Captain’s call. “The Phantom is coming!” the Captain roared. “Get to the cannons! And Crows Foot, you start firing!”
“Aye,” Crows Foot called, scrambling down to the deck. He hobbled to the cannons, his hands slipping into the familiar places, spun the cannon around so it faced the approaching ship and fired. He heard the other shooters around him doing the same. Distant cries of alarm rang in the air.
Cannonballs flew through the air at the Devil’s Grin. “Fire in the hole!” Captain Black Eye yelled. They dodged the flying ball just barely. The cannonball scraped the side of the ship, and plummeted into the great blue sea. Every pirate shivered.
The fighters started getting into smaller boats and rowed off to the Phantom. They threw their grappling hooks onto the pirates ship and slid over to them. The pirates on the Phantom drew their own cutlasses and a fight began. Crow’s Foot could spot Mad Eyes fighting like a demon, cutlass weaving and ducking in the air. Captain Black Eye put the spyglass to his eye and roared, “Reinforcements! Crow Foot, Snake Eye, and Savage Heart, GET OVER THERE!!!”
Crow’s Foot slid over to the ship and unsheathed his sword. He brandished it to a pirate and stabbed clumsily at him. The pirate hopped to the side, jeering at him. “What a landlubber you are,” he sneered, leaping aside again as Crows Foot furiously slashed at him.
The ship wobbled, swaying wildly. Crows Foot lost his balance, so focused with the fight, fell to the floor with a thump. The pirate roared with laughter. “You gotta have steady feet,” he said. “And good strong legs. Here, I can help you up. I can pull your leg and toss you into the ocean!” The pirate glanced at Crow’s Foot pegleg and grinned, showing his yellow teeth. In the back, gold shone.
Crow’s Foot got back up, his eyes glinting, his mind clear. The ship wobbled again. He stumbled, and fell down. The pirate laughed so hard that tears formed in the corners of his closed eyes. Which was exactly what he had wanted. He struck out with his wooden leg, as hard as he could, and the pirate collapsed, his left leg going numb. Tears of laughter became tears of pain.
Crows Foot held his sword at the pirates neck. “Not so useless now, huh?” he said softly.
The pirate didn’t move, but his eyes were furious. Crows Foot pressed his sword harder against the neck, drawing blood, but just then, he heard a voice say, “We surrender! The Phantom surrenders!”
Crows Foot looked up. A pirate, probably the Phantoms Captain, was backing away nervously as Captain Black Eye grew closer and closer, waving his sword side to side, taunting him, mocking him.
Captain Black Eye stepped closer. “What did you say?” he whispered, threateningly. “I want to hear it again.”
“We surrender,” the Captain growled. His eyes were desperate and scared, despite the rough voice and hard face. “We’ll give you the coffer, just leave us alone!”
“Say it again,” Black Eye said, face expressionless, eyes gleaming. “Say that we win.”
The Phantom’s Captain was growing angry, but he spat out the words, “You win. Now get off my ship!”
Captain Black Eye whistled and three men hurried below deck. The silence above was deafening. Tension was in the air, thick and overwhelming. Crows Foot looked down at his captive. The pirate was looking shocked and furious at his Captain.
Crows Foot understood. It was a cowardly decision. Win or die trying. Flee your death, and be stolen of your treasures and dishonored.
Life was important. Honor was vital. Without honor, you were nothing. You were the lowest of the low, worse than the swabs that mopped the decks.
The Captain of the Phantom was avoiding his pirate’s glares, he was looking straight at the doorway where Black Eye had disappeared. He was very still. The pirate captain seemed to be in a sort of trance, numb to the rest of the world, as if foreseeing his own death.
All of a sudden, footsteps, loud and clear were heard. The Captain of the Phantom jolted awake as Captain Black Eye trudged out of the doorway with a load of treasure. Doubloons spilled out onto the floor, glimmering in the sunlight, golden rain falling.
The pirate Crows Foot was holding down let out a hiss of anger. All Crows Foot felt was triumph. It swelled in his heart, making him almost giddy. It felt like he had gulped down two bottles of rum. Rum… It was almost certain he’d be drinking it again after this victory.
“Not yet,” he murmured to himself. “Don’t celebrate yet.” He caught his happiness just in time before it overwhelmed him.
Captain Black Eye got on a small boat and rode back with the treasure. Once all the pirates had got back on the Devil’s Grin, they bid good-bye to the Phantom.
Now here was the rum that Crows Foot had wished for… Here was the party that he had imagined—And the joyous (and perhaps slightly drunk) singing to the beautiful night sky. The song echoed through his head:
Oh, ho ho
Oh, row row
The sea breeze kisses our faces
The salty sting brings tears
Were the roamers of this blue glass
Thieves, thugs, whatever you want to call us
But were the masters here
The masters of this blue land
Oh, ho ho
Oh, row row
Sailing the ship
Across the ancient waves
Galloping across the sea
Toward the new beyond
We’re the masters of the blue
We cheat, we steal, we fight
With everything we have
We cheat, we steal, we fight
For the gold rain
Treasure alights life in us
We’ll do anything
Fight any pirate
Battle any storm
And dig, dig, dig
Until our shovel thunks
Against the precious coffer
Oh, ho ho
Oh, row row
We cheat, we steal, we fight
We’re the Devil’s Grin
And we’ll give it our all
For that gold rain
After the party, Crows Foot and his crewmates were below deck. Crows Foot was talking about how he beat the pirate. “He was insulting me like crazy,” he said. “Telling lies about my pegleg. Saying it’s useless. Saying he can help me up by pulling my leg and tossing me into the ocean.”
His crewmates roared with laughter. “Pull your leg?” Mad Eyes chuckled. “You ain’t got no leg. Only a wooden stump.”
Crows Foot grinned. “I was telling myself, ‘that pirate’s crazy. He’s talking about pulling my leg when I don’t have a leg!’”
